How do I stop thinking about myself and care about what really matters?

Alyssa Satara, Human Rights Advocate. Social Innovator. Feminist.

Wait?!… Why don’t you fall into the category of “what really matters”? I work in world of human rights, I make it my job to help people and to be a part of issues that I think really matter. I still take the time everyday to think about myself, and to reflect on myself. I believe that a lot of your actions and all of your relationships stem from the relationship you have with yourself. What I think you should really be asking is : How do I productively think about myself to propel me to care about what really matters? or: How do I think about myself in more positive and healthy way to lead a fuller life?

  1. Put the social media down! (…. I mean everything in moderation)

Today narcissism is exceeding prevalent. It’s hard for it not to be with the entire world being accessible at the click of a button. Of course Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat ect can all be used in innovative ways that connect people, share stories, and maintain friendships. Even so, there are plenty of studies that express concern for these apps and their correlation to depression and anxiety. One good way to stop overthinking about yourself, it to cut down (or altogether stop) scrolling through your own social media profile pages. It would also be good to take a step back from scrolling through other people’s pages, and instead take that time to reflect on yourself and on what you feel really matters.

2. Care less about what other people think about you

A lot of people spend too much time obsessing about themselves and it’s because they are worried about appearances and what other people think of them. DO YOU BOO BOO! Don’t worry about what the haters (or people in general) are going to say. You’re never going to be able to tap into that part of you that wants to focus on “what really matters” if you don’t discover yourself in the process.

3. Stop thinking “selfish vs selfless”

Nothing is that black and white. You can be selfish with your time, thoughts, and priorities and still be a selfless person. Find a way to think about yourself and to still be able to care about issues, subjects, and skills that you feel really matter. I’ve learned that when I become more ‘selfish’ and spend my time working on projects that I’m interested in instead of hanging out with friends, and being a part of social scene I end up taking the time to do what really matters to me. Good friends will understand and support you on your journey.

4. Take the time to understand yourself

You need to be able to understand yourself to understand what really matters. If you always put yourself first and it’s getting in the way of your relationships and other aspects in your life ask yourself “why do I do that?”. You’re first answer probably won’t be your best one, dig deeper. You have your entire life to get to know yourself, and to spend with yourself. The earlier you start to get to know yourself the earlier you start learning, and start making meaningful progress.

5. Find out what really matters

What really matters to me, probably won’t really matter to you. Find out what you feel really matters and get in the habit of contributing to it. Find ways to inform yourself and become a part of whatever it is that you feel really matters.

It won’t happen all in a day, but practicing these habits will help you reflect on yourself in ways that will hopefully help you live a more purposeful, fulfilled and happy life.

PS. The featured photo is an actual picture of me thinking about myself and caring about what really matters. Taken by my sister on a trip we took together to Ponza, Italy.

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